xanthan gum

usually with much ice-cold gin. grin even if it is glamorous to think so. and " Since when are you so fastidious? I've never heard somebody say "fastidious" so casually, ...

I think "beautiful" should be italicaized or whatever, not underlined. Your choice, naturally. (golden lads and girls all must , as chimney sweepers, come to dust) I think you should ...

not too hot that the heat permeated every pore and cell so that movement was made impossible *grumbles* I still think you should take out "made". But I'm stubborn like ...

Add punctution like you were actually writing it in story form. For example: I beseech you, child of our time, who wanders in the everlasting light, and holds the hand ...

I got the feelings admist the jumbled vocabulary. But it's a bit too disconnected - you start up something new and then "Commence end". You never finished what you stared. ...

scaring-looking kids Chirs grabs my arm I It was for kids. “but I have to gome spelling... He can’t help it: every evening he’s with Chris part of him keeps ...

A lot of description for Donny, and he muses a bit. I'd rather have seen the huge web between the three of them in a less direct way. It was ...

Hm. It seems we have somebody new on the block, and with a style all too similar to mine. =] I'm complimented. Fresh challenge. :D Punctuation suggestions: I can hear ...

This is..cute. Your lines varied in length - got to short in one part. I think you should fix that rhythm. Maybe not. Four to varsity lettered paparazzi. She was ...

Don’t you remember? together among miles of emerald grass, the popsicle juice spilling down your chin, our endless games of hide and seek, running through the yard, always treasuring the ...

The fourth stanza was a bit awkward with the 2nd line = 1st line repitition....But otherwise, I thought it was a well-worked, patterned and beautiful piece of work. You got ...

It's not your best, yoha_ahoy. It was a just image that you were trying to convey, but the first two stanzas sounded so forced. And the middle stanza was a ...

Don't sacrifice the rhythm. It's there, but you broke it many times. I'll point out these lines: Innocent flirting, causing no harm, Until it leads to something deep Where I ...

I'll breathe before I run again. Not the best opening lines. Lure me in before I wake up and this moment's just a passing dream. How about: ..before I wake ...

I think the ending could be a revised a bit. For, no matter how many times your doorbell rings The comma in this line really isn't needed, and it makes ...